None of the girls of BDIPC will admit to being a sucker for overly romantic gestures, but long ago, we witnessed one we particularly appreciated. A woman wrote one thing she loved about her Dude on each page of a blank book. Though it was filled with charming, thoughtful, and largely boring items, there was one we remember in particular: The way your beard feels scratchy on my thighs. We’ll wait for a few moments for you to work through the tingles that word picture evokes. And although we at BDIPC still imagine that gift’s recipient and giver, you don’t have to. Allow us to introduce to you the follicularly-talented Dude that is Robert Marion.
The northerly location of BDIPC HQ means that CX season is beard season. But for some reason, it remains rare to see a Dude at this level of competition sporting a beard we want to sink our fingers into. Why is that, exactly? Are the Dudes we know and love physically unable to sprout a beard that doesn’t look like they Mastik-ed their leg-shaving scraps onto their faces? Do they believe it’s not aerodynamic? Well, when Robert took the third step of the podium on the second day of the Chicago Cyclocross Cup’s New Year’s Resolution races last weekend, he put that idea to bed, and our minds quickly followed suit. After all, you know that we at BDIPC think there’s nothing like some truly majestic facial hair to make us think a Dude worthy of mounting our podium. (Those massive shoulders trying to bust out of his skinsuit don’t hurt either. Don’t be shy, shoulders. Come on out.)
Robert obviously knows how to dominate the CX field, but he’s also been a prominent fixture on the XC MTB scene for several years. This is a two-part bonus in our eyes: Not only is he experienced in getting down in the dirt, but he’s well-versed on getting down in the dirt for hours on end. Now, according to his USAC stats, our paths overlapped at both CrossVegas and Gloucester this year. We can’t imagine how we possibly could have overlooked this glorious DudeBeast twice in a single season, but forgive us our omissions. We’re hard at work, filling more than just a blank book with the things we like about Robert (and his) Redbeard. Like, could a river run through it? We wouldn’t mind finding out.
The girls of BDIPC are off to #CXNats this weekend, after which we swear to give you that double-team we promised. Fingers crossed…!